one of my main flaws is that I've never traded true alpha. I have touched a few rare pure alpha trades in the past, but never at capacity.

I am always impressed by people that find weird quirks in the books, or an inefficiency deep in the docs and trades that for profit. I have never been able to do that.
this is a skill issue. but it's something I want to get better at. maybe it's not my field, yet , I feel like I have to do it.
I have so much to improve in my main models though, and this will take time, as I will spend a lot more time digging through things, rather than focusing on stuff I know works for me.